I'm staying, I'll stay.

“

I asked a handful of people when they first knew what the word ‘goodbye’ really and truly meant,

and I heard the weight of the world in every word they thought to say,
and all they really wanted was someone to stay.

we live in a world where it’s all just going downhill
and everyone wants to leave before they are left,
but no one wants to stay and fight
take off their armour
and be vulnerable

we all want to shout, “stay”
but we still back away towards the door
and close it before we hear the reply
are we the ones being left
or are we the ones
leaving?

do we really want people to stay?
to give us their hearts?
can we handle the responsibility?
oh tell me, tell me,
when was the first time you were lying on the floor because someone walked out the door
and didn’t turn around to say,
“see you soon”

goodbye does not always mean permanent
and it does not always mean pain
but what are we gaining
when we burn our bridges
and turn our backs
what are we gaining
but a broken heart and
painful memories that know nothing but bitterness?

is it really good if it is a parting of ways?
why are we forced to tack on a positive word to such a painful form of the way things change
please, this isn’t goodbye
this is more complicated than just a word
it’s heartbreak
it’s learned behavior
it’s freedom in a peculiar way

but if you don’t have to,
could
you
please,
maybe
just
stay?

”